2|16|26Hello, Gem. How’s your heart? I pray it’s thriving. Let me tell you what’s been on mine.
The Love You Deserve x K.M.
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Gem, there are some things that only life’s hard moments can teach. Love itself has lessons that reveal themselves through unraveling and restoration. Simply put, divorce can feel devastating—like the world shifted upside down beneath your feet.
But somehow, when the dust begins to settle, you discover truths about yourself and love that you would never have learned otherwise.
Divorce teaches your heart how to repair and carry itself, signaling that love is alignment, an active choice, and clarity. You begin again with intentional hope, which are the positive realizations, changes, and enforcements you are also deserving of.
When a marriage ends, you meet yourself in a new mirror. You remember to prioritize your own heartbeat, breaths, and needs.
According to a 2021 study published in Psychology and Aging, emotional regulation tends to become more refined with age and life experience. As people age, they are better at navigating emotional experiences with intention and calmness (Carstensen et al., 2021). This means that your heart becomes wiser, clearer, and more authentic in how it feels and responds to love.
This wisdom stays with you long after the marriage ends, shaping how you give love and how you accept it. The divorce process forces you to sit with patterns that once felt invisible. Toxic and unhealthy methods that lived beneath the surface become clear.
Research from Current Opinion in Psychology highlights that attachment styles influence how adults form romantic partnerships. People with secure attachment report higher satisfaction and emotional closeness in their relationships (Feeney & Collins, 2021). Divorce can become a turning point that brings awareness to these attachment forms.
Once you start to understand that the love you truly want is consistent, present, and responsive, you’ll never look back the same. You’ll look forward to a love that sees you in every capacity, whether platonic or romantic.
The end of a marriage is the beginning of deeper emotional awareness. When you reflect on your past connections, you learn lessons that extend far beyond one relationship.
That’s a blessing!
Findings published in the Journal of Marriage and Family show that individuals who experience divorce often undergo significant shifts in emotional growth and self-understanding. Many report increased independence, authentic self-expression, and clarity about future partnership desires (Amato, 2010).
This growth becomes the ground from which new love can grow. You’re able to hear your own truth more clearly than ever before, trusting the wisdom of your heart.
The love you deserve is not built from idealism. Get that out of your head. It’s from insight that travels through your history and camps in your soul. It remembers what hurt you and honors what healed you.
The divorce process reveals that love is not something to chase endlessly. It arrives with mutual respect and lives within true vulnerability and consistent care. Anything other than that needs to be addressed to avoid losing yourself, stat!
Love does not demand perfection; it should feel safe while choosing you as often as you choose it. Your experiences refine your capacity to give and receive love with intention, and your story teaches your heart what matters most.
Respect the powerful changes that align when you choose yourself after letting go. Your emotional life is precious.
Now is the perfect time to slow down, observe, feel, and respond to all circumstances with wisdom. Learn your heart’s language and stand on your boundaries. Uphold them, Gem!
Healing is a daily practice.
Divorce, though painful and unfortunate, shapes you into someone who loves with honesty and depth. That’s exactly the love you deserve, in all ways. Always.
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Gem, share this with another woman who is learning what love truly feels like after loss.
To our Gem, Kia, who inspired these words: You’re loved deeply; your resilience never goes unnoticed, and your story deserves tenderness. Your greatest love story is yet to come and will reflect how special you are to God.
Until next time, I am sending you softness and clarity for the parts that are becoming. Thank you for rooting with us at SheIsTreasure. – K.M
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