8|10|25Hey, Gem. Zhara here, and I’m back with another one.
Let’s jump into it
Love Without Losing Yourself x Zhara. J.
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Falling in love.
Falling in love is a story many of us know too well, surrendering so fully that somewhere along the way, pieces of ourselves get left behind. Our dreams, goals, even our quiet moments of self-care become collateral damage in the name of “us.”
But Gem, love isn’t supposed to swallow you whole. It’s supposed to lift you, not bury you.
You know that, right?
When you lose sight of your own light, what you get is a dimmed version of love. A half-lived life where your worth starts to hinge solely on the other person’s presence or approval.
That’s not love.
That’s survival. And survival isn’t enough for the woman who knows she’s destined for more.
You deserve an expansive love, one that makes space for your ambitions, passions, and solo moments of joy.
Audre Lorde said it best: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare” (Lorde, A Burst of Light, 1988).
Your self-care, goals, and growth are revolutionary acts in a world that often expects women to dim their fire for the sake of others. To love fiercely and live fiercely is not a contradiction. It’s a declaration.
Remember, your relationship should never be the whole story of who you are. It’s a beautiful chapter, yes, but you are the author of your entire book.
Don’t let your story shrink because of someone else’s presence.
Brené Brown, a beacon of vulnerability and strength, reminds us, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others” (Brown, Daring Greatly, 2012).
Setting boundaries isn’t cold or selfish; it’s the warmest form of respect you can give yourself and the people you love.
So, treasure this: your dreams and peace matter. And your identity isn’t a shadow that fades when you’re with someone. It’s the light that guides your way.
Hold tight to that truth!
Stand firm in your power. And watch how love flourishes when it meets a woman who refuses to lose herself.
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Gem, share this reminder with another woman who loves deeply but refuses to lose herself. Make sure she doesn’t forget that no one is bigger than the program of self-love.
Until next time, I wish you strength as you guard your heart, chase your dreams, and love without losing yourself. – Zhara. J.
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